Worklife

So my HR manager is on his way over to meet with me to discuss my Otter leave options.  And to celebrate such an occasion, here is the post containing as many of the funny stories about my actual non-HR manager, who, though loving, is clearly unaware of what pregnancy is like.

And by "celebrate," I meant "de-stress."

~~~

My manager is a funny lady.  We have all speculated at one time or another about whether or not she is married or has kids--though the latter has become a clear "no" now that baby Otter is around.

She is mostly excited for me to be pregnant, but she is also very unenthused about the prospect of losing me permanently.  A point which she has brought up nearly every time we talk.  She introduced me to multiple new hires as:  

This is Megan.  She's due in January and we want her to come back but [sniff] she still won't promise that.

Which later inspired the following dialogue:

Manager: I'm just going to have to schedule you for six days a week when it gets close for you to leave us.

Me: [laughter] Keep saying things like that and I won't come back.

Manager:  Megan!  Was that a threat?

Me: What? I'm just responding to one threat with another.

Manager: [laughter] Okay, kiddo.  Five days it is.  Now, get back to work.

A couple of weeks later, when I hit close to 6 months, there were a few of us in our office when she struck again:

Manager: Boy, Megan is getting fat!

Coworker: E, you can't say that!

Manager: Why not?  She is.  I mean it's all baby, but she is getting fatter!

Most of our recent phone calls include her repeated concerns for my breathing.  After the third call she mentioned this during, I finally walked her through it:

Manager: Megan, you're out of breath again.  Do you want to call me back later?

Me: No, E, I'm always out of breath these days.  My lungs have about half as much space as before because the baby has taken up a large portion of my body.

Manager: Oh..

Me: Yea, so no need to worry if I'm out of breath.  It's when you can't hear me breathing that you should check in on me!

This conversation only partially worked.  She still mentions my breathing on every call.

Most recently, we scheduled a meeting for us to discuss the next few months. For those who don't know, the main office is about 3 blocks away.

Me: Can we schedule a meeting sometime next week to talk through what my last day will be and what needs to happen for my clients when I'm on leave? 

Manager: Sure. Look for the invite. Can you come to Clarifi? Or is it too difficult to walk?

I'm not sure how she knows that I apparate to work, but apparently the secret is out.