Is our daughter eating enough? Is she eating too much? Am I doing this right? Is she constipated? Is she always going to be constipated? What do I need to change? Why is she so clingy? This is just a phase, right? What am I doing wrong? Is she teething? Is she really ready for just two naps? Why did I not nap while she is napping? Why am I not cleaning my house while she is napping? Oh, God, I just dropped her on the sidewalk. What if she is bleeding internally and I don't know it? Why do I never think to pray? What if her faith is as weak as mine? What if that fall has left her with permanent brain damage? Oh gosh, she is so clingy..why can't she play by herself for a while? Am I horrible for thinking that? Am I giving her enough attention? Do I speak enough to her? Is she learning and growing even if I don't speak enough to her? Is she teething? Am I getting her diapers clean enough? What is that bump on her foot? Is it [insert obscure disease here]? Does she have too many toys? Should I buy her another toy to help her development? Why do I never read to her anymore? Why does she always chew on books? Is she teething?
It goes on and on.
And for those out there who thought, "Oh, Megan, you're doing fine! Don't panic." Yes, thank you. I know. But let's now pretend neither of us knows that and just listen to what I am saying. Because panic has nothing to do with reason.
Panic just floods. And fills. And coats.
And you end up so damn exhausted from your own unwelcome thoughts that you'd rather sit and play a mindless video game or watch someone else be productive (hello, Youtube!). Not to mention the diapers, laundry, unending battle with fruit flies, short missions trip to NOLA (I swear I will eventually blog on this and send final letters to those of you praying for us...), laundry, story time, cuddles, bedtime, feeding baby, playtime, doctors visits, baby-proofing house, final touches for the kitchen (oh yea, I should update you on that too, huh?) etc.
Hence my bloggy absence.
But, good news is: I finally realized why I was so tired. So here's to more photos and funny stories and a little less Minions Rush. Well, when I'm not chasing this one, at least.
No comments:
Post a Comment