Because... Reasons.

Well, well.  All three of us have survived year one mostly unscathed.  There's this cool trend that many of my parent friends are doing where they write a sort of birthday post to their kids about how amazing they are and what skills they have accomplished.

Which is awesome.  But I just don't have much of that mushy, romantic substance in me.  But for those who do, hey look, baby photo!

I'm not sure how accurate it is to call a photo of a baby that's still a baby a "baby photo," but there you have it.

But since looking at that photo only reminds me that there was once a time when she didn't weigh enough to tire my arms out, here is something a little more humorous to commemorate the beginnings of year two:


1. Fussiness is a fact of life.  Even when not fussy, the fussies are imminent.

1b. Teething is an easy target for blame when it comes to fussiness.  As are growth spurts, tummy troubles, changes in sleep, wonder weeks (aka mental growth spurts).  Not to mention the basics of hunger, wet diaper, exhaustion and boredom. 

1c. Fussiness also happens for reasons.  Just reasons.

2. That whole "I can tell the difference between my baby's cries"?  Yea, we still haven't figured them out in this house. 

3. Exposure rate before babies will eat food? 5 to 8 experiences.  Exposure rate before babies will chew on non-food items?  5 to 8 nanoseconds.

4. Babies will pick through all the food on their tray and eat all the Cheerios first.  They will then smoosh-test all the other objects in the same color range as Cheerios before ignoring them.

5. Babies learn by imitating and thus love playing with everything you play with most frequently.  Phone, keys, keyboard, mouse.

6. You can kinda get around #5 by giving them their "own" unplugged version of said items of devotion.  Think of it as a cheat code: probably shouldn't do it but it makes the game more fun.

7. Children in the latter half of the first year, really do have a lot in common with family pets.  Consider the fascination with lasers.

8. Going up is infinitely easier than going down.  Going down, however, wins hands down in the category of parental panic attacks.

9. The rules of diaper bag packing: If you forgot something, you will definitely end up needing it before you get home.  If a dad packs the bag, there will always be one thing missing 90% of the time.

10. You really don't need most of the things you have in your house.  Babies are rather creative little creatures.

I was planning on ending here with a "now" photo since I started with her as a newborn.  It's a shame we've already stopped taking a ridiculous number of photos.  At least of her face.  (see #7, 8, & 10)  Since 80% of that is due to her inability to leave my phone alone, I offer you a piece I call Mom bed, Dad pillow also known as Don't you dare move and wake her; I don't care if you need to pee.

Happy birthday, love.