community

I recently saw the wedding photos with a couple who had no bridal party.  Just them and a crowd of spectators.

It struck me as somewhat lonely.

I know this marriage is ultimately between Hon and I, but it's impossible without a community of friends and family following this journey with us.  Staring at the photo of them standing alone at the altar, I began to wonder if I could do that.  Stand alone on such an important day.



My community is scattered these days.  I have a few good friends here in the city, but I seem to be in the habit of befriending people who leave for [supposedly] greater and better things.  So now, part of my heart resides in New York, Colorado, Taiwan, Cali, Cincinnati...and yes, in Philly.  

Sometimes, though, the distance brings a loneliness with it.  I can't just up and go dancing with a Tasmanian devil.  Nor can I bake (and feed people) with someone 12 timezones away.   These days, my community survives through emails, gchats and prayers.

In college, you get accustomed to hanging out with your friends every day.  Now that I'm an "adult," I find myself reprograming my understanding of friendship and community.  I'm learning to be grateful for the infrequent; There is such quality now that we've been friends for years that cannot replace the quantity that I think I want.

I see my bridesmaids at most once a month, but it is enough.  I discuss the 5 year old maturity of all men with my old roommate every other week, but it is enough.  I can only go on playdates with an old friend when there is a matching break between our work schedules, but it is enough.

It is enough because, Christ fills in the gaps.  He is the one forever by our sides, encouraging us, loving us and challenging us to be better.  Plus, because of Him, our friendships continue and build.  Our love never grows stale, for our prayers keep our friendship alive in our hearts.  When we meet, there is a joy and a rest that comes from the love we have for one another--a love based on His great love.

That's what loneliness teaches you: That you never as alone as you think.  You just have to be willing to listen.