Learning to fight better

I promise I have funny posts waiting in the wings, but Hon and I got into a fight last night and I'm finding it hard to write funny just yet.

We're okay now, but it was definitely one of our worst arguements.  And it reminded both of us that we need to learn to fight better.  This is one of my biggest pieces of wisdom for couples.  We all need to learn to fight better.  Whether married for years of dating for weeks, fights will happen.

But...what does it mean to fight better?  Well, it depends from couple to couple and person to person, but it always means this:

1. Care about the other person more than yourself.
2. Assume the best of them instead of assuming the worst.
3. Ask forgiveness sooner and more honestly.

We all have to figure out what that means for us practically.  Hon and I fight differently.  Subsequently,  we have different areas where we need to grow.  But, for me it means...

... remembering, accepting and forgiving Hon's forgetful nature.
... reminding him, patiently, of what is on the calendar.
... not testing him to see if he "really loves" me or "remembers what I've already told him".
... telling him I need a hug, instead of waiting for him to realize it.
... waiting until tomorrow when we're both too tired.
... battling it out in person not via text.
... trusting and believing him when he says "I love you."
... saying "I love you" even when I'm hurting.
... admitting that sometimes I base my self-worth on what others think instead of on what God thinks.
... accepting forgiveness with joy instead of self-loathing.
... growing in a Christ-like, genuine, I-love-you-as-is, package-deal, loves that cares more about building him up than about stomping all over him.

It means I have a ridiculously far way to go.